Quotes/Cornfed

A collection of quotes by Cornfed.

Season 1

Duckman: "It looks a lot worse than it actually is". Cornfed: "Not unlike nipple clamps".
"I was once kidnapped by a cabal of kick-boxing Ninja who forced me nightly to play a deadly game of steel cage basketball where the losers where beheaded."
"Any ex-wandering troubadour slash hostage negotiator could've done it."
"Kids, if I may. You should always respect a parent more than a close and seemingly more courageous friend of the family. No matter how moronic, obnoxious, craven and cowardly the parent seems to be."
"You can take it in or you can take it out are steaks and colatas will make you scream and shout

Lawyer: "We won't be paying at all." Duckman: "You can't do that!" Cornfed: "Actually they can. It says here on paragraph C, sub section B, the client doesn't have to pay if he doesn't want to."
"You're better then that Duckman. He's trying to kill you! Please, you're my friend. I need you. I love you."
"Duckman, you should make your decision now. The students are protesting your presence on campus."
Elliot: "How did you find out!?" Cornfed: "By being the only person in the world who would actually read a college newspaper!"
"Bernice, this is about the rights of ordinary citizens to be free from the capricious imposition of a state enforced idea of normalcy. Also he owe's me three dollars."

"My investigation turned up a lot of scams in this prison. Prostitution, extortion, counterfeit Simpsons merchandise."
"You two are under arrest for gouging on vending machine sodas. Oh, and we're pretty sure that dance ring stuff was illegal too."