A collection of quotes by Cornfed.

Season 1 Edit

  • Duckman: "It looks a lot worse than it actually is". Cornfed: "Not unlike nipple clamps".
  • "I was once kidnapped by a cabal of kick-boxing Ninja who forced me nightly to play a deadly game of steel cage basketball where the losers where beheaded."
  • "Any ex-wandering troubadour slash hostage negotiator could've done it."
  • "Kids, if I may. You should always respect a parent more than a close and seemingly more courageous friend of the family. No matter how moronic, obnoxious, craven and cowardly the parent seems to be."
  • "You can take it in or you can take it out are steaks and colatas will make you scream and shout

Season 2 Edit

Season 3 Edit

  • Lawyer: "We won't be paying at all." Duckman: "You can't do that!" Cornfed: "Actually they can. It says here on paragraph C, sub section B, the client doesn't have to pay if he doesn't want to."
  • "You're better then that Duckman. He's trying to kill you! Please, you're my friend. I need you. I love you."
  • "Duckman, you should make your decision now. The students are protesting your presence on campus."
  • Elliot: "How did you find out!?" Cornfed: "By being the only person in the world who would actually read a college newspaper!"
  • "Bernice, this is about the rights of ordinary citizens to be free from the capricious imposition of a state enforced idea of normalcy. Also he owe's me three dollars."

Season 4 Edit

  • "My investigation turned up a lot of scams in this prison. Prostitution, extortion, counterfeit Simpsons merchandise."
  • "You two are under arrest for gouging on vending machine sodas. Oh, and we're pretty sure that dance ring stuff was illegal too."

Comics Edit

  • "Welcome to the last issue re-cap."

Video Game Edit

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