A collection of quotes by Charles and Mambo.

Season 1 Edit

  • Mambo: "I believe you presented Loretta with one of the quintessential paradoxes of the modern era." Charles: "The idea that the most perfect world is an imperfect world, because imperfection creates the drive in people to make things better. The irony being that maybe the most perfect parent, is an imperfect parent."
  • Bernice: "Any ideas?" Charles: "Well, sometimes a court will declare a person incompetent to handle their own affairs! " Mambo: "Then he's sent to an asylum, and all of his assets are turned over to his children."
  • Mambo: "She's right dad, you have been acting like a bit of a, what's the word?" [Cat meows] "That's it!"
  • Charles: "Morning dad, we're off to get an education in the hopes of one day making a meaningful contribution to society." Mambo: "And though we have no reason to expect anything inspirational. we're semi open to whatever fatherly advice you'd like to foist upon us."
  • Bernice: "Off to school boys. They'll be time enough later to watch him degenerate into a desperate and pathetic middle aged man." Charles: "Good luck, dad!" Mambo: "Follow that dream!" [they both laugh cruelly]
  • Charles: "Truth be told, the world's a disgusting place, dad. Since we're powerless to do anything about it, we've decided to embrace it's many horrors."

Season 2 Edit

  • Charles: "Let's hope this becomes yet another repressed memory."
  • Duckman: "Careful with that. You could put someones eye out." Charles: "Cool!" Mambo: "Which page of the instruction manual is that on?"

Season 3 Edit

  • Charles: "Hey, give me a break. I haven't had a joke in like three episodes."
  • Charles: "Why do I get the sneaking suspicion it has something to do with that walking fiasco who tries to pass himself off as our father?" Mambo: Except it's hard to believe dad could sink any lower in his attempts to fulfill his grotesque and unspeakable physical needs."
  • Charles: "Come on dad, what are you gonna do? Rip this families heart out and march around with it on a stick?" Mambo: "Or act as the same caring, loving father to aunt Bernice's baby that you've been to us?"
  • Cornfed: "Sorry I didn't knock. Your neighbours had opened your front door so they could hear your argument better." Duckman: "They do take an interest. Last week they helped us paint our house." Mambo: "Dad, they sprayed 'Get Out' on our living room window."
  • Charles: "That's the last time we take romantic advice from a man who thinks Dickinson and Wordsworth were porno stars!"
  • Duckman: "Don't you think I know all that?" Mambo: "That wasn't for you. That was exposition for the ninety-nine point nine percent of the audience who are usually out having a life on Saturday nights instead of flipping through obscure cable channels in the hopes of finding a little soft-core pornography."
  • Charles: "We love you dad!" Mambo: "You're the best!"
  • Mambo: "When it comes to love, he's the smartest man we know…"

Season 4 Edit

  • Mambo: "I'm tempted to die just so I can get a head start on spinning in my grave."
  • Mambo: "Eh, quit your struggling Chaz. Just lay back and enjoy a nice refreshing… Cigarette [evil laughter]
  • Mambo: "We're like minor, underwritten characters in our own lives."
  • Charles: "Damn you Mambo! You've been sneaking cigarettes for weeks now! Frankly, I'm getting tired of all the second head smoke." Mambo: "Don't get uptight, man. Everyone knows cigarettes make us look mature, sophisticated and cool!"
  • Beverly: "Nobodies blaming you, Mambo." Charles: "I am!" [strangles Mambo]
  • Bernice: "Uhh, am I missing something?" Mambo: "I don't understand half the jokes I say."
  • Mambo: "The only part of me that's uplifted is my stomach."
  • Mambo: "We haven't felt so exploited in three days!"
  • Mambo: "Dad, please come out!" Beverly: "Tell him you love him." Mambo: "Dad, uhh… Our active distaste for you is sometimes mitigated by pity."
  • Cornfed: "Perhaps he would come out if he was asked to by the ones who love him." Charles: "Unfortunately, there's nobody here but his family."

Comics Edit

  • Mambo: "You'll have to forgive Charles, he's mistakingly quoted Umberto Eco, not Aristotle."
  • Mambo: "It does give us a unique perspective on the mind/body dilemma." Charles: "Does not."

Video Game Edit

  • Duckman: "But I'm your father! The man who plucked and polished you! You're the fruit of my loins!" Mambo: "We still wanna see lab results."
  • Duckman: "What did I ever do to deserve treatment like this!?" Mambo: 'We're glad you asked." Charles: "Let's see. We can break it down and give it to you by category, such as missed birthdays and holidays." Mambo: "Or we could show you how your combined gambling losses, and the money you've wasted at strip clubs could have built a sewage treatment facility for an impoverished third-world country." Charles: "And we'd have to get out the projector but we do have a chart that clearly shows that you've only actually spent a total of thirty two hours and fifteen minutes with us since we've been born."
  • Duckman: "I guess the selective memory twins here don't remember the pony I got them for their birthday." Charles: "It wasn't a pony, it was a donkey. And we had to give it back after that exotic dancer got out of jail."

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